Turpentine

The sun rises there and never sets,
Live the way your supposed to and have no regrets.
I keep looking for sugar in a salt mine
The love here tastes like turpentine



Go were the words will flow
Live a life worthy of a picture show.
Find God in a different place.
See him with a different face.

My worst critics are in the inside
They don’t know it but I’m on their side.


I just can’t give in।

Can we have a time out please?!

Gay marriage is a huge issue right now, at least it is where I live. There’s a proposition coming out on November 4th along with the elections. If you vote yes on Prop 8 then it supposed to clearly define marriage as a union only between a man and a woman. This I suppose would protect the institution of marriage from polygamist from wanting to have more than one spouse. If it doesn’t pass, supposedly its going to be taught in schools. According to www.protectmarriage.com there was a 1st grade field trip to a gay marriage in San Francisco. Why am I still conflicted about voting for prop 8?

When I was younger I often thought that as I grew and became more educated that issues would become more black and white. I’m finding a lot more gray areas popping up all over the place as well. One of them being homosexual marriage. I’m still standing on my belief that homosexuality is a sin, coming from man’s inherit sin nature. Although I know that people are going to sin no matter what. That there will always be homosexuals. There will always be gossipers, murders, and thieves. Murdering and thievery is prohibited by law, gossiping is protected under the 1st Amendment. We allow gossiping because if we didn’t then we would have to restrict others from speaking. We can’t have everyone drawing lines and redrawing them whenever they feel it to be the right time.

Homosexuality for the most part is seen as taboo and as sin. For others it doesn’t really matter. My cousin even said that he wouldn’t know why people would want to get married in the first place. If prop 8 does pass then Homosexuals won’t have the “dignity” of marriage. I guess they want to be accepted as most people would. If it does pass then would that open the door for them to lose more rights? Possibly I think. It might encourage further gay bashings or hate crimes. It might even discourage further learning about homosexuals. There is a huge cloud of ignorance over homosexuality. I bet that homosexuals don’t even understand why they are attracted to the opposite sex, same goes for heterosexuals. If it doesn’t pass then its possible that children won’t learn in class about the social acceptance of homosexuality and that its okay to be gay. This I believe is an infringement of my rights. I’m not an evolutionist but if I were, I might come to the conclusion that homosexuality wouldn’t benefit the human race. In fact I would see it as a mutation in the human genome, if proven to be gentic. A mutation that wouldn’t make the species any stronger. In fact it would weaken it.. If its not genetic then it might be the result of ones environment to which would discourage natural behavior. As a Christian I see it as a result of a faulty world. In that everyone is affected differently. Christians are not immune to sin. Dealing with ones sin nature is a life long process. So the teaching of it the classroom as a natural thing to do, does not score points with me. It would just encourage confusion and misinformation about a subject that is rarely studied by qualified people.

If it doesn’t pass then I guess gays get that “dignity” that they want so bad. To me it still doesn’t make it right. If it doesn’t pass then it might make it less taboo. Which might lessen hate crimes or gay bashing. There could be more scientific studies into homosexuality and what exactly is happening inside someone when they’re convinced they’re gay. This would be a step toward ensuring people rights. Homosexual or not they’re human beings. If it doesn’t pass then would that further restrict rights for them. Could the “conservative right” go out and restrict other social sins. Such as premarital sex. Could you imagine having to pay a fine for having a baby out of wedlock? Or getting tax benefits for attending church, which is already the case for som? Or how about getting arrested for infidelity? Those might seem extreme but those are totally feasible and have happened in different countries throughout history.

This whole Proposition 8 deal is of course our country working itself out with checks and balances. I see the pros and cons on both issues and are considering each side carefully. As a Christian I know where my moral boundaries are. At the same time I feel torn about setting them for others. In the end though I think this whole deal is premature. Neither side understands fully what they’re doing here. Each side has reacted immaturely I believe. I fear that each vote whether it be no or yes will inflict irreparable damage to not only the state but to the country.

A Lovely Hell

She sits in roses, giving her hands to their pedals.

Pain for the pleasure she supposes, although she's awarded no medals.

Thorns are a pricking, the already vulnerable shell.

Her dreams keep her sailing, beyond the point from which she fell.

As a rose pricks it handler, her handlers seem to only prick her heart.Gardeners in general are much more gentler, hers are handsome but have begun to rot.

Delicate as a rose pedal, she sees her frailty.

Rising from this lovely hell, leaving the roses for some better realty.

The estate in which she resides, is a place vacant of confusion.

Here there are no handlers, besides she'd rather have truth than illusion.

I'm on a social commentary kick. Especially lately since the economic bummer of 2008 has got me all wired up. I was sitting on my front porch listening to Simply Red cause I'm a big sap. Watching the sprinklers. I was in reflect mode concentrating on the heavy issues on my heart. Like what can I make for dinner that's not going to take to much effort. Or, I think my dog's pills are giving him gas. Which of course led me to think about the death penalty. No it didn't.. . . .

I was thinking about all that stuff before but I wanted to ease into it. Now I'm just going to splash you with it.

I used to think that the death sentence was justified. Like how can a woman who drowned her three children in a car continue in society. She is now useless. Or how bout' this guy? The BTK killer. How many people did he kill. Way to many. Is there any hope for that guy. There is too many disgusting crimes committed by people. You can't put those people back in society. Then there is the guy you found out through DNA testing that he didn't kill his alleged victim. Oops we killed him already. Guess what it happened more than once.
Death is certainly a mechanism that would cause a preventive fear in any respecting citizen. But those who commit the crimes don't care. We can't prove how many died innocent. How many would or would not kill if there was or wasn't a death penalty. I'm sure if you go to a much harsher country where they kill you if publish a political cartoon of a respected politician.
Is it justified that we kill a growing number of innocents in the name of killing thousands of the wicked. Just who is it that are pronouncing these judgments? Judges. Okay. What are judges anyways. Aren't most if not all seasoned lawyers. Now despite the urban legends going around not all of them are blood sucking vampires that sleep upside down in classy uptown penthouses. Where lawyers in fact make money off of problems. Maybe I'm trying to say that you'll never see a coffin factory investing in pharmaceutical cures or giving grants to universities trying to make the safest car in the world. One fatal flaw that a judge has is that he is in fact a person! SHOCKED? I was too. That's why I always wore a garlic necklace to court. Where in his higher education did he learn the consequences on state endorsed death. I question if they're has ever been a study. I can think of one instance. A long time ago there was a kingdom called France. Whose royalty was slaughtered. Those who in fact slaughtered those kings turned to the people who they said they represented. Thousands were killed by state execution. Execution became another weapon in the state's arsenal. Well what about the 9/11 attackers? Okay maybe we can make a case for those who commit war crimes. Wouldn't that be another form of creating a state of fear. So that anyone who opposes the country would be killed. That seems far fetched now. You do realize that there are secret trials held with no jury outside the country. Not just at Guantamano Bay.

As someone who believe in Jesus and tries to follow the example and tenants he laid out in the gospels. I found myself conflicted. The more I follow Jesus the more I feel myself against the death penalty. Then I was thinking about the face that's painted on me when I say I'm a Christian. That I'm pro-life, pro-war, pro-guns, against saving the environment, pro-clubbing baby seals. Despite that I found the paradox that we were stuck in. How could the secular world see the horrors in death but I, a follower in Jesus couldn't. I was a victim of social conditioning what can I say. I Baaahed with the rest of the sheep. But as I learned more I found myself believing in life. Loving the present reality with a new zeal. A zeal not a lust but just a full appreciation of it. Its so rare and unique. Knowing how many there are dead versus alive. How could I think that taking life from someone was okay. Abortion say what you will, but if I was against someone killing a semi-conscious person in someone's womb. Why was I for the extermination of a fully conscious adult who may or not be guilty? Paradox. Actually in all respects solitary confinement for life seems worse than murder. I still enjoy clubbing the occasional seal though. I'm so bad.

Human life is more precious than any other on the planet. No whale, seal, rainforest, or cause amounts to a pile of beans when its stacked against a human life.
Now the discussion of war and pacifism is for another blog that might not ever happen. I dunno though I'm feeling pretty bloggy lately.

Okay I'm back on gay marriage. As much as I don't understand about homosexuality. When I think about the ridiculous gas prices I don't feel as confused. I was watching some documentaries on the Current channel. I didn't realize what was restricted to gay couples. When I heard all the restrictions it occurred to me that these restrictions were quite inhumane. For instance if there is a gay couple and one of them is in a car accident. The other partner can be denied visitation because they're not technically family. Even though they could have been living with each other for the past 25 years and have a mortgage on their home. They might have even adopted a child and have raised that child through college. It would insane not to let that person see their partner. There is a bunch of other stuff too. I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on the legal nonsense involved.

As a Christian it doesn't offend me when gays are married. It doesnt bother me when people actually slander Jesus. Besides my own religious beliefs, never would I impose my religous paradigm on anyone by ballot or force. When I hear about people trying to force there views on people. Its as if those who they're trying to impose these views on, are second class citizens. Honestly I think it's a waste of time and money for Christians trying to make these "sanctity of marriage" amendments on state constitutions as well as federal. I wouldn't think that they could hold its weight in court. The only people trying to get these legislations passed are Christians. The only reason they're trying to get them passed is because they think it's a sin. Sin is a religious issue not the state's. Despite my religious convictions if I held a chair in the supreme court I would rule that this issue interfered with the state endorsing religion. It feels backwards and wrong to me. If Christians are so concerned with these gay issues they would think of a better way to address these issues.

I have a few pointers for any Christian lawyers trying to make a dent in gay rights.

1. Stop wasting your time in the courts. (See above)

2. Make some honest friendships with your gay opponents. Real friendship. Don't try
and get them saved. Listen to them. Help them with anything that any friend would provide. Get some slurpees play some video games. Primarily just listen.

3. Live by action and not by words. Don't picket. Don't put out an add campaign. There is no such thing as bad publicity.

4. Read up on it. Read material from scholars on both sides. Don't assume that you understand everything there is to know about homosexuality.

5. Pray. Just don't pray "Dear Baby Jesus, Please turn those darn dem gays over der in San Frisco so dat dey don't go to H-E-double hockey sticks." Think about it put some compassion into. Don't look at gays as some sort of enemy. As if they are destroying Christianity. Pray for understanding and guidance. Above all listen to what God has to say to you.

6. Don't deny their help.

7. If your calling them sinners realize to that your no better. Having sex before marriage-sin, Pornography-sin, cheating on your taxes-sin, gossiping-sin, gay bashing-sin, above all Judging-sin. Remember that were all on the same playing field. None of us have a born position that makes you have it in better with Christ. So stop pointing fingers.

Live and let live. Don't worry Christianity isn't going anywhere. It certainly wont go anywhere positive if we panic. Also too Homosexuality isn't going anywhere either. Please, though Christians lets not become nagging complaining nincompoops. Lets be smooth and clever. Making clean decisions that will better benefit man rather he be straight or gay.

Tiger Balm

Anxiety paces through his busy feet,

Fluttering his heart at a frantic beat.

Beware the obstacles in your way,

For you set them there, every new day.

Give no heed to what your nerves do wrought,

They leave you bear in the summer's hot.

Pause and feel the grass beneath your toes,

In a meadow with feeding does.

As divine as they may be,

See that they're just human beings.

Many a man has lost their head,

For the sweet nectar of what she said.

Your worth more than the attention she gives you,

So take your time and invest in what's true.